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Blind Item Wednesday!

Friends in food,

Welcome to the second installment of Blind Item (insert day we get around to writing it).

While Smaller Bites wishes to hurt no business, these are the places that are bafflingly popular with no reasonable explanation.

Did they hire a social media firm? Do they sell drugs in the back? Subliminal advertising? Who knows, but Blind Item (insert day) is dedicated to sharing our thoughts about about places, without naming them, that, like the guy in the park talking to himself about the government implanting chips in our brains, we generally suggest avoiding.

  • With freezer burned shrimp and a queso that only would appeal to the weird kid in 3rd grade who snacked on paste, this place puts the "can't" in Cantina. Seriously, frozen shrimp? There's that giant wet thing about 2 miles west that's full of fresh ones! Their large tequila list, their only redeeming quality, clearly serves to help people forget the lackluster Tex-Mex they've just choked down.

  • This strip-mall seafood joint serves food in a style that can only be described as "haute-assisted living" cuisine. Not only is the food bland, unimaginative and boring, but their insidiously annoying local commercials commit serious copyright infringement. Who do you think you are, indeed!

  • Our least favorite-celebrity owned restaurant is a steakhouse that has all the dark charm of Mr. Burns' library. At one point they had the gall to charge $96 for a New York strip. Allow your taste buds to remain undefeated and avoid this place and all its..whatever the opposite of glory is..

  • The Cheesecake Factory

Feel free to leave a guess in the comments, or email Correct guesses win nothing but the knowledge of how to avoid a bad meal with your hard-earned cash.


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